![\"\"](\"\/\/thedivinefellowship.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Depositphotos_1812936_original.jpg\" "\\"The")
<\/span><\/p>\nEnergetically, unclear boundaries feel unsafe and therefore everyone feels on edge a bit.<\/p>\n
So what are safe boundaries and how do I get there when I can\u2019t say no?<\/p>\n
I totally get this! I remember years ago I could NOT say the \u201cno\u201d word. Just couldn\u2019t do it. I would do things I didn\u2019t want to do or bail out at the last minute. I would have a neighbor take my car for the whole day when I only got the car one day a week to do errands. At great hassle to myself, I gave in \u2013 every time!<\/p>\n
I knew I had to set a boundary but I just didn\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n
So, I did what I always do when I\u2019m stuck. I prayed about it. Now, personally, I think prayer is magic because here\u2019s what happened. That neighbor called again knowing that I had the car. I had a ton of errands to do and needed it for my own stuff. As the phone was ringing, I still didn\u2019t have an answer and I was still praying!<\/p>\n
I picked up the phone and heard her request. What came out of my mouth was nothing short of a miracle. I said, \u201cI\u2019m uncomfortable with that.\u201d I didn\u2019t know what else to say, so I kept silent. I knew that whatever excuse I came up with she would have a better reason. It felt like I\u201dd dropped a bomb. After a really long moment the neighbor said, \u201cOh, ok. I\u2019ll just get Sue to loan me her car. Thanks anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
That statement \u201cI\u2019m uncomfortable with that\u201d was TRUTH. Pure truth. No guilt, no shame, no blame, no excuse . . . just truth. That truth set me free! Holy Wow!!<\/p>\n
That one experience gave me courage to speak my truth in other situations. The trick is finding the truth amidst the muck of obligation, fear of judgment or criticism, and the verbal\/emotional manipulation from others. I didn\u2019t want them to feel badly because that meant I would feel their pain as well as mine. (Untrained Empaths feel everything!) When I gave in, at least I only felt my own suffering.<\/p>\n
It gets to a point when you just have had enough of that inflicted suffering and just want to be free of it. The truth does that. It frees you. It frees you from manipulation and it frees you from fear, obligation, and suffering needlessly.<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t want others to not like me or be mad at me. They might not be mad at you. The might, but the pain of being mad at yourself is worse, isn\u2019t it? It certainly gets to be after a while.<\/p>\n
So, I wrote out some TRUTH statements and taped them next to my phone so I\u2019d be ready. That really helped in the days when I was learning to speak my truth.<\/p>\n
You see, we can comply \u2013 do what others want. Rebel \u2013 defy a request out of hand; don\u2019t do what others want when you said you would, or wiggle out of an agreement. Or Walk a Sacred Path \u2013 doing what is in your heart to do. Guess which one grants you powerful energy to move forward? On a sacred path, we may choose to do something that someone asks of us \u2013 not out of obligation or fear but out of our free will and our loving heart. Or we will decline their request \u2013 not out of anger and frustration but out of our free will and our loving heart.<\/p>\n
Whatever you are doing, notice if you have an energy of being pulled back, held up, or restricted . . . you are not walking in your truth on your sacred path. (To be clear, we all do things we don\u2019t like to do. Cleaning toilets isn\u2019t fun, yet that may be part of my sacred path.)<\/p>\n
So, if someone is expecting me to do something, I get to choose which space I\u2019m in. Comply? Rebel? Or Walk a Sacred Path. Finding my truth leads me directly onto my sacred path. Even though to someone else it might look like complying or rebelling. You heart knows the truth of it.<\/p>\n
The truth is neutral. The truth does not carry a negative charge \u2013 even if it\u2019s not what the other person wants to hear! If a person chooses to get upset, you get to stay neutral. How cool\/powerful is that!?! Even an Empath can walk the Sacred Path of Truth without suffering.<\/p>\n
Here are some Clear Boundary statements that speak the truth:<\/p>\n
-I\u2019m uncomfortable with that.<\/p>\n
-I know I did that for you before, but not today. (Remember -don\u2019t give them a REASON or an EXCUSE \u2013 they will pick it to pieces and overpower you. Just speak your truth and be silent!)<\/p>\n
-Perhaps another time. I have other commitments for now. (If they push for a when, just repeat yourself . . . \u201cI have other commitments for now.\u201d If they push for what\u2019s more important than them, just repeat yourself . . . \u201cI have other commitments for now.\u201d)<\/p>\n
-Hmm. That sounds like a tough situation. If anyone can figure it out, you can. (Silence \u2013 let them figure it out! What a gift you are giving them!)<\/p>\n
-I\u2019m not sure how to respond to that. Let me get back to you. (give yourself time and space to think! You have a right to that!)<\/p>\n
-I have to think about that.<\/p>\n
-I don\u2019t have an answer right now.<\/p>\n
-If my help wasn\u2019t an option, what else might you do?<\/p>\n
You get the idea! Have fun with creating your own list based on your own circumstances.<\/p>\n
Remember: Speak the TRUTH and then be SILENT. If you are asked a question like \u201cWho do you think you are?\u201d they are not seeking information, they are seeking to belittle you, steal your power, and get their own way. Don\u2019t bite that hook! It\u2019s manipulation and you are breaking free from that!<\/p>\n
Keep finding new ways to say no without using the no word. It can be fun! This empowers you while helping others feel safe in your world. Your life is your world. Own it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was chatting with a friend the other day and she expressed reluctance to bother me or intrude in my life with a question. I replied that she could trust me to tell her if I was too busy to answer her at that moment. She said she felt relief in that expression of trust. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2448,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"\n